Morgan's poem 2017

Morgan won first place in the high school category at the 2017 West Roxbury Library poetry contest.  The theme this year was Alone/Together.  Here is her poem: 

Guilt

I miss you.

I remember how we met.

Science class, sixth grade.

I wanted to talk to you because you were sitting by yourself

and I felt bad.

We switched cheap romance novels back and forth

Crying at the sad parts

And laughing at the terrible ones.

I remember how we drifted apart and then closer together.

We shared no classes.

We still laughed about sixth grade crushes,

Angrily wondering what had happened.

Why couldn’t they love us back?

You told me a secret and I thought I understood.

I didn’t.

I remember the end of us, because you wanted us to be more than that.

You texted me at eight in the morning after my fourteenth birthday party.

I like you

That’s the thing

I was. . . disgusted.

I couldn’t handle it.

I stopped talking to you.

No more nostalgic hour-long text conversations.

No more gossiping about crushes.

I mean--I was yours.

What was there to talk about?

Then I stopped looking at you.

Avoiding you at the bus stop,

Sitting by myself instead of with you.

Staring out the window instead of meeting your gaze.

Then I stopped thinking about you.

It was easier that way.

For both of us.

One morning I saw you in the hallway.

Dressed differently.

New posture, new hairstyle, new friends.

And I noticed you were happy.

You have your friends, your problems, your life.

I have mine.

It’s over.

I miss you.

Why did I panic? How could I have?

You wanted me to love you--and I do.

Just not the way I should.

I miss you.

How can I tell you that?

It would only hurt you more.

I tried to reach out

But we’ve both changed too much.

I want a friendship that cannot exist any longer.

I miss you--but I miss the you that I knew.

Not the you that avoids my gaze in the hallway.

But can I blame you?

I’m sorry.

I miss you.